Fuck War,
by Thatoneloserkid
Summary: Star Wars AU Lena is fleeing from the First Order, Kara stops her from crashing.


**If you guys want to tell me what you think of this, or talk to me about Star wars (and your opinion of the new one) hit me up on tumblr?**

 **.com**

She had been on the routine scout of the planet when the tie-fighter came barrelling into the atmosphere, leaving a trail of black smoke behind it.

BB-8 beeped erratically at her.

"I'm seeing it, too, buddy." Kara murmured, her visor of her helmet clicking into place as her thumbs hovered over the button for her guns.

"What are you waiting for, Kara?" James' voice sounded in her ear. "Attack!"

Kara's thumbs didn't even twitch. "There's something wrong." Kara said, nodding when BB-8 beeped. "It is the only one, BB."

"Kara, that tie-fighter could ground you in seconds." Diana said in her ear.

"They aren't attacking, admiral." Kara replied. "Permission to see how this plays out?"

"Like you would ground the fighter if I told you to." Diana bemused voice came through her coms, followed by James.

"You're going to get yourself killed!"

BB-8 beeped, sounded a little annoyed. "He does underestimate our flying skills, BB."

Kara pulled up and around the fighter, pulling her breaks to allow her to pull a 180 as quick as possible, watching the fighter as it just completely bypassed her, a trail of black smoke behind it.

"They're going to crash," Kara put her ship into top speed, going after the ship. "BB-8, I need you deploy the arm and grab ahold of the fighter as soon as I say so."

BB-8 beeped at her.

"I know it will pull us down with it. Just do as you're told." Kara positioned her craft just above the fighter. "Now, BB-8."

She felt the jerk as soon as the arm attached to the tie-fighter, her ship being jerked downward, even if she put all her power into pulling up.

"It's going to take you down with it." Alex said over coms.

"I know what I'm doing." Kara growled through gritted teeth.

She only let go when the ship was relatively close to the ground, Kara pulling up and turning just before the ship crash landed, a rough landing, but not fatal, if she was lucky.

Kara touched down a few feet from the tie fighter, quickly hopping out of the cockpit.

Kara ran as fast as she could toward the grounded ship, BB-8 rolling beside her.

"You go and make sure that fire doesn't spread."

BB-8 beeped at her before taking off.

"Kara, what are you doing?" Diana asked in her ear.

"There's someone in that ship."

"The enemy," James hissed.

"A person," Kara shot back.

She reached the ship just as BB-8 had contained the fire and ripped the hull off completely.

The girl in the pod was unconscious, blood trickling down from the hairline of her dark hair and down her pale cheek.

"What do you see, Danvers?" Lucy asked.

"A girl," Kara leant forward, unclipping the girl. "BB, go get the ship ready to go. Diana, have the med bay waiting."

"You can't bring her back here," James scowled.

"We will be waiting for you, Kara." Diana contradicted.

Kara scooped the girl up into her arms and rushed off in the direction of her ship. Kara placed the girl into the small cockpit of the X-Wing, climbing in after her, crouching down enough to get the hatch closed.

"Get us back to the base, buddy." Kara addressed BB-8, who beeped happily at her. Kara buckled the woman up before pulling open the top few buttons of the uniform she was wearing.

BB-8 beeped as she checked the girls vitals. "I know buddy, it isn't the good uniform."

BB beeped again, this time a little more panicked.

"She was out on her own, BB, this wasn't an attack on us." Kara answered, putting her ear to the girls mouth, taking in her shallow breaths. BB beeped at her again. "I know they can! But they won't be tracking her. Diana? Send Barry out to take the tracker from the tie-fighter?"

"Already on his way,"

As soon as Kara landed in the base the girl was quickly carried off to med bay, Alex shouting about how they had to keep her stable while Sam tore open the girls shirt to check for any other wounds.

Kara watched them leave, BB-8 coming to a stop against her leg.

"This could be dangerous, Kara." Diana commented.

"She wasn't attacking." Kara said with a frowned. "The First Order would never send a ship out without a fleet. There's something more to this."

"I agree." Diana hummed. "We will talk to her when she wakes up."

Kara nodded, rolling her eyes when BB-8 beeped at her, his little head nudging her calf. "She is objectively pretty, BB."

BB-8 beeped, making Kara laugh. "Thank you, buddy, but it's not a competition."

—

Kara was tending to the fenglas when the Sam found her.

"Little Danvers," she greeted, rolling her eyes when BB-8 beeped at her. "Droid."

Kara laughed, smiling when the pale, hairless creature rubbed its head against her knee. "What's up, Sam?"

"The girl woke up about an hour ago." Sam said. "She seems to have come off relatively unscathed."

"What's her story?"

"She was escaping. Took a tie-fighter and left, jumped at hyperspeed and ended up here. An asteroid hit her as soon as her ship came into the galaxy that's the last thing she remembers." Sam explained, jumping away when one of the fenglas went for her ankles.

"Fran, no!"

The creature looked sheepish at Kara's scolding, its head bowed as it joined its group.

"She was a storm trooper, went by the code LEN468." Sam said. "She said we could call her Lena."

"A trooper?" Kara turned in the spot she was sitting to look at Sam, one of the fenglas hopping onto her shoulder and curling around the back of her neck.

"It weirds me out that you can turn your back on these things." Sam commented, eyeing the large claws and crooked incisors.

"They are massively misunderstood," Kara looked down at the little creature asleep on her shoulder. "So, she is a run away trooper?"

"She didn't want to be apart of the First Order. They kidnap their troops now, after what happened with the cloning." Sam said. "They took her as a kid, she as been trained into fighting for them, but she'd had enough."

"That's horrible," Kara frowned. BB-8 beeped beside her. "That's true buddy," she nodded, looking up at Sam. "BB said if she is essentially property of the First Order she might have something in her that they can track."

"Already checked, it was one of the first scans we done when she was stable." Sam assured. "She asked for you Kara."

"For me?"

"For the person who save her life," Sam corrected. "Alex told her what you did, that if it had been anyone else out there they probably would have shot her down."

"That's not true," Kara frowned.

"It is, anyone we've asked thinks you're crazy." Sam grinned at Kara. "You're too compassionate, Kara Danvers."

Kara tentatively took the fengla off her shoulder and set him down beside his sleeping pack. "There's no such thing."

"You have made friends with a pack of one of the most vicious creatures in the galaxy," Sam laughed. "I think everyone else would disagree."

"People are just too quick to judge,"

"Maybe," Sam hummed, leading Kara to the med bay.

The girl was sitting up in her bed, a bandage wrapped around her head and her left hand wrapped up.

Her head shot up when the door slid opened, her eyes moving from Kara to Sam and back again.

"Are you- Kara Danvers?" The girl asked in a soft voice, a ting of an accent that Kara had never heard before.

"I am," Kara smiled, wiping her hands on her shirt and holding it out to the girl, rolling her eyes when BB-8 beeped impatiently. "And this is BB-8, my sassy droid."

BB-8 looked up, obviously a little offended.

Kara rolled her eye. "Oh, like I'm wrong."

BB-8 beeped grumpily.

Kara returned her eyes to the woman when she took ahold of Kara's hand. "How are you?"

The girl nodded unsurely, dropping her hand. "I- the last thing I remember was an asteroid hitting my ship."

"How is your head?"

"Concussion but okay for the most part." The woman explained. "Samantha, said you saved my life."

"I didn't- I just stopped you from crash landing."

"I was in an enemy ship," the woman frowned.

"You weren't attacking, I had no reason to let you crash." Kara reasoned.

"Do you know- they won't tell me what's going to happen to me."

"You aren't going to be held as some sort of prisoner of war if that's what you're worried about." Kara assured, taking a seat on the chair beside the bed. "We aren't going to send you back, but other than that I'm not sure."

The girl nodded. "You smell like a stable."

Kara laughed, looking down at herself. "Yeah, I was tending to the fenglas when Sam came for me."

"Fenglas? You look after fenglas?" The girl arched her eyebrow. "Those things are vicious."

BB-8 beeped at Kara's feet, making Kara nod. "I know!"

"You can understand that thing?" Lena peered down at the droid.

"He said that fengals are misunderstood." Kara translated, rolling her eyes at BB-8's offended beeps. "She didn't mean anything by it."

BB-8 beeped again, turning their back to Kara. "I told you, sassy." Kara whispered with a little grin, earning a soft smile from Lena. "It must be horrible not knowing what is going to happen, I will go talk to my admiral, have her come talk to you."

Lena nodded.

"I won't be long," Kara smiled, getting up to walk away.

"Why did you do it?" Lena asked, speaking again when Kara turned to look at her. "There was an enemy ship flying on the planet you guy have your secret base on, and you didn't shoot me down."

"You were alone, there was no fleet, you were on fire." Kara shrugged. "There was no reason for me to shoot you down."

"Anyone else would have,"

"Maybe," Kara nodded. "We are in the middle of a war, people are trigger happy when they are afraid."

"Are you afraid?"

"Of course," Kara nodded. "But I understand that most of the First Order troops are fighting under the presumption they are doing the right thing. I wasn't going to kill you."

"It's a war, you can't afford compassion."

"You're wrong," Kara disagreed. "Compassion is all we have in war."

Kara left before Lena could reply to that, heading to Diana's office with BB-8 rolling along side her, beeping and chirping.

"She does have a lovely voice," Kara agreed, grinning down at her droid. "If I knew any better I'd say you had a little crush on her, buddy."

BB-8 beeped in annoyance, rolling a few feet in front of Kara.

"I'm kidding," Kara laughed.

Diana looked like she was expecting her when she entered, her eyebrows raising questioningly. "I'm going to go talk to her now."

"She's confused, Diana, we all are." Kara said. "What's going to happen to her?"

"She will stay here until she is well then it is up to her what she wants."

"But staying here is an option for her?"

"Much to James' dismay, yes." Diana said with a little hint of a grin on her lips.

"Okay, I said you would be along to speak to her soon."

"I will head along now," Diana tapped something into her terminal, shutting it down.

"Okay,"

Kara headed back to her room after that, running into Alex on her way there.

"You could have gotten yourself killed, you know?" Alex leant back against the wall.

"There was no threat,"

"You didn't know that." Alex disagreed.

"You weren't there, Alex. Trust me when I tell you there was nothing threatening about that ship." Kara shrugged, resting her shoulder against the wall, a little yawn escaping her lips.

"You're exhausted,"

"Yeah, it hasn't exactly been the easiest few weeks." Kara stretched her back out. "I think the First Order are getting closer, we've been called into help Resistance fighters ten times over the past three weeks, and it is getting closer and closer to the base every time."

"They don't know where we are,"

"No, but they're looking. We can't hide forever." Kara rubbed the back of her neck, her eyes falling closed. "And with Lena just coming tumbling into this planet, they can't be far."

"Yeah," Alex sighed. "I don't trust this, I don't trust her."

"You don't have to trust her," Kara tilted her head, opening one eye. "You just have to trust me."

"How can you just trust her so easily?"

"It's not easy, I've had that though that maybe she will turn on us, take out the entire base and that would fall on _me."_ Kara sighed. "But I can't let fear turn me into what it has turned them into. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if I had just shot her down without knowing all the details."

"You're compassionate, Kara, and something _everyone_ loves about you, but it could get you hurt."

"The worse thing we can do in a time is become heartless." Kara said, pushing herself off the wall, standing up straight. "We let go of our compassion, of our heart, then we do things that are unforgivable." Kara sighed. "People in this place need to remember that."

Kara left before Alex could reply, tapping her wrist against the scanner, the little embedded chip opening the door to her room.

—

Kara was in the porg pen when Lena found her a few days later. She was lying back on the ground, her head propped up on some hay while the porgs jumped around her, BB-8 beside her.

"What are you doing?"

Kara looked over the book she was reading so see Lena standing at the pen gate.

"Hey," Kara greeted. "This is the only place you can get a little peace and quiet around here."

She got to her feet and opened the gate for Lena, stopping some of the Porgs with her feet.

"What are these things?"

"Porgs," Kara took a seat again, motioning for Lena to do the same. "The sweetest little things." Kara cooed as she scratched the head of the porg that jumped onto her lap.

Lena startled when one jumped onto her lap, looking down into the wide, black eyes of the creature.

"They won't hurt you," Kara assured, placing the porg that was on her lap on the floor and sliding a little closer to Lena. "They are very sweet. People around here don't like them much because they are mischievous, and loud."

Kara gently scratched the porg on the head, prompting it to close its eyes, its little wings flapping.

"See," Kara smiled, and when she glanced over at Lena she was staring at Kara with soft eyes. "Why are you here?"

That seemed to snap Lena out of whatever thought she was having. "I was looking for you," she admitted quietly, focusing her attention on the little creature that was rubbing its head against her hand. "Everyone on this ship is looking at me like I'm the enemy. Well, except Saman- Sam. She said I could find you here, or at least somewhere in the animal section of the base."

"Safe bet, really." Kara agreed. "And as for everyone else, they're just wary, they'll come around."

"I don't really blame them,"

"What have you decided to do? Diana said if you wish to stay you can."

"Yeah, I was surprised I am just free to leave if I please." Lena admitted, her shoulders lifting in a little shrug. "I haven't decided yet."

"That's fair." Kara hummed. Silence fell over them then, only the sound of the porgs little feet as they scrambled to surround them. "Why'd you leave?" Kara asked after five minutes of silence.

"I don't- I'm not ready to talk about it." Lena admitted, hiding her face in the feathers of one of the porgs that had taken a liking to her.

"Okay, sorry I asked." Kara apologised, flashing Lena a reassuring smile. "Where have they put you? Are you in a room of your own?"

"I do, across the hall from Sam." Lena said. "The woman who used to live there moved in with her girlfriend or something."

"Yeah, that's my sister. She and Maggie are sharing a room now. They're gross in a cute kind of way." Kara commented playfully, smiling softly at Lena. "I'm glad they gave you a place of your own. I'm two along from Sam, if you ever need anything."

"Thank you," Lena smiled, her eyes moving to BB-8 who was peering around Kara. "Hey there."

BB-8 beeped at her, rolling out from behind Kara and settling at Lena's feet. Lena looked at Kara, who rolled her eyes.

"He said you can ask him if you need anything, too."

Lena turned to BB-8 just as they ejected their little lighter, holding it up like a thumbs up.

This made both Kara and Lena laugh, Kara giving the droid a little tap with her toe. "Do you have a crush, BB-8?"

BB-8 gave a disgruntled beep.

"I don't care if you are just circuit boards."

Lena's eyes moved to BB-8 when they beeped again.

"Don't make me laugh, you are the most sensitive being I know. You can feel stuff."

"How can you understand it- him?"

"I grew up with him," Kara shrugged, reclining back on her elbows. "He's been a pain in my butt since before I can remember."

BB-8 beeped.

"Second best thing, Alex is the best thing that ever happened to me." Kara corrected, smiling when a porg rubbed its little face against her chin. Lena was watching her, an odd look on her face. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just- nothing." Lena shook her head, leaning back against the wall of the pen.

Kara didn't push, focusing on the porgs around her.

"What were you reading?"

"Just a book about caring for some of the animals we have around here."

"Is this your job?"

"No, I'm the commander of the starfighters, this is just something to help wind down."

"You must spend a lot of time with them, you obviously have a good bond with them."

"I need to wind down often," Kara smiled crookedly at Lena, telling her there was more to that statement.

"Do you want me to leave? I know I'm interrupting your you time."

"Nah, you can stay if you want to." Kara waved her off. "Next time bring a book of your own"

"Next time?"

"If you feel like you need to unwind." Kara smiled, picking up her book again.

Lena played with the porgs while Kara tried to read her book, her eyes moving over to Lena more than once. She couldn't help but smile at how Lena played with the little creatures, laughing when one of them hopped up onto her shoulder.

They had been relaxing for an hour before Lena started to look uncomfortable, her fingers pressing against the skin between her eyebrows.

Kara eyed her curiously. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just a little tender." Lena said, sounding almost breathless.

"Are you still on pain medication?"

"Sam said to stop by the med bay, but I'm okay." Lena assured, offering Kara a little smile, one that kara didn't believe for a second.

"You don't look okay, you look pale." Kara eyed Lena, taking in her sunken eyes. "Lets go to the med bay, get you some painkillers."

Kara offered her hand to Lena when she stood, helping the girl to her feet.

Sam tutted when they entered, helping Lena up onto the bed. "I told you to come back before it gets this far, did I not?"

"I feel fine,"

"Tell that to your face," Sam shot back, digging around in her drawer for some painkillers. "You both smell like porgs."

"They really took to Lena," Kara commented.

"They don't seem to be the only ones," Sam said with a little grin, kinking an eyebrow at Kara.

Thankfully, Lena seemed to be in too much pain to pay any mind to the girls, completely missing the glare Kara shot at Sam.

"Okay, tough guy." Sam smiled, offering Lena two painkillers and a bottle of water. "You dinged your head pretty hard, Lena. You can try and be tough but you need help with this."

Lena swallowed the pills, taking an mouth full of water.

Sam and Kara escorted Lena back to her room after that, Sam promptly leaving with a little wink at Kara, making the commander roll her eyes.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kara asked as Lena opened her door with her pass. "Can I get you anything else?"

"I'm okay," Lena assured with a soft smile, a little bit of colour back in her cheeks. "Thank you, for walking me back."

"Of course," Kara smiled. "If you need anything, you know where I am."

Kara left then, heading down to her own door, glancing back at Lena to see her watching her, offering her a little wave before disappearing into her room.

—

Lena found her in with the Bharlls the next day, large, blue and red creatures with a body of a horse and a face of a bird, they had large floppy ears and ocean blue horns.

Lena stared at them, wide eyed and obviously afraid, which almost everyone was when first meeting them.

Kara was on the back on one, her head resting against the back of the sleeping bharlls head as she read her book, holding it open with one hand and scratching the animals ear with the other.

Kara didn't realise she was there until one of the creatures released a sharp breath through their nose, stomping their feet.

"I told you, Athena, I will pet you next."

"What are these things?"

Kara startled at the voice, sliding off the side of the bharll and falling face first onto the grass, a little groan escaping her lips.

She heard Lena gasp and Athena gently pushed her beak against Kara.

"I'm okay, girl." Kara assured breathlessly, grumbling as she got to her feet, laughing quietly when Athena pressed her face into her, giving her huge head a quick hug and a scratch.

"Are you okay?" Lena asked when Kara walked closer to the enclosure gate.

"Yeah, the grass is soft," she assured, wiping off any dirt that was on her. "What's up?"

Lena held up her book, a sheepish little smile on her lips. "I didn't know where else to go."

"Of course, come on in."

Lena did, though wearily.

"Don't worry, they're sweethearts."

"You said that about the porgs,"

"And it's true in both cases." Kara assured, whistling at the animals.

Three of them came over, towering over Lena and Kara, their long tails swishing back and forth, obviously excited.

"Okay, guy, this is Lena. Behave yourselves, she's new to all of this." Kara send, sending a glare to the one on the far left. "I'm looking at you, Thea."

The creature almost looked sheepish as it bowed its head to Lena.

Lena took to the creatures faster than anyone ever had, only looking mildly startled when more of them thundered over to meet the new addition.

"Where's your droid?" Lena asked as they settled on the grass, Kara leaning against the tummy of Thea, smiling when she put her tail over Kara's lap.

"We aren't inseparable, you know?" Kara laughed, scratching the end of Thea's tail.

"I haven't see you guys apart since I got here." Lena pointed out.

"He doesn't like the bharlls, they aren't massively great with anyone really, other than me, and you apparently." Kara shrugged. "He is probably in the hanger with Alex. He will be annoyed with me for the rest of the night, always is when I come here."

"People back with the First Order, they had BB-series of droids but they were just workers, nobody ever bothered to learn the language, they were just the help."

"Some people here are like that, but I grew up with BB-8, he was my escape from a lot of things." Kara admitted. "I've known the language for as long as I can remember, BB-8 was just always there, I picked it up like I did English."

Lena nodded slowly.

"It's crazy, I know he is just circuit boards and wires but he's sentient, he understands, he _feels_. People don't think that he does, they treat him like a piece of scrap metal and, sure, he won't get depressed or sad if someone says something mean to him but he's- I don't know, he's as good as human to me, you know?"

"I get that," Lena hummed, jumping when Athena fell down behind her, the ground shaking under her weight, curling herself around Lena.

"Athena is the hardest to please," Kara commented with a little smile. "You're definitely part of the pack now."

This made Lena smile, scratching at the creatures tail.

Lena settled back against the animal, opened her book. Kara watched her, a soft smile on her lips.

She let herself just stare, taking in the girls pale skin and long dark hair, the way she twirled the fur on the tail of the animal, her teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she concentrated on her book.

She forced herself to look away when she realised just how creepy she was being, but found herself glancing up at Lena every so often.

They sat in silence for the next few hours, only leaving when Lena's head began to throb.

Lena came to find her again the following day, in the Varactyls enclosure.

Then with the long-cats. Then with the banthas. Then with the crystal foxes (she was ill prepared for the cold so Kara had to give her her jacket. Kara maybe have stared at Lena with the fuzzy ear muffs in for a bit longer than deemed acceptable.). Then with the hyenax.

They didn't talk much at all, either relaxing with a book or caring for the animals. Kara was surprised at how Lena just got stuck in and helped with the mucking out and feeding of animals that obviously scared her.

Lena's headaches lessened and eventually disappeared after the third day, so they started staying much later, to the point where they forget the time and ended up heading to bed long after everyone else.

Kara was on her way to find Lena when she got the order from Diana to get a fleet together.

"I suppose we are long over due an attack," Kara commented bitterly as she walked with Alex toward the hanger, dressed in her fighter gear, her helmet tucked under her arm.

"It's a small fleet, it shouldn't take too long." Alex offered just as they rounded the corner, Kara colliding with someone.

When she looked down she was met with the wide, green eyes of a startled Lena.

"Oh, sorry, Lena." Kara apologised, taking a step away from her.

"It's okay," Lena smiled, eyeing the helmet. "Patrol?"

"I'll see you inside," Alex said.

Kara smiled at her sister as she walked away. "There as been an attack on a resistance cruiser a few hundred light years away, we've been called in to help out."

"Oh," Lena frowned. "Is it safe?"

"You know what these fights are like," Kara laughed quietly. "I'll be back soon. The Bharlls need feeding, they don't like anyone else, but they like you."

"Sure, of course." Lena agreed immediately. "How long will you be away?"

"I'm not really sure what the time will be like here. I'll be going at lightspeed, you know? Distorts time." Kara shrugged. "I'll come find you as soon as I'm back.

"Be safe."

"I will," Kara assured, placing a hand on Lena's arm. "Go to Admiral Prince, say about the animals, I'm sure they can find a job for you. I put in a good word for you, she knows how good you are with them."

"You-" Lena looked almost touched by that. "Thank you."

"Of course, the animals would be lucky to have you." Kara smiled, squeezing Lena's arm. "I need to get going, but I'll come see you when I'm home."

"Okay, bye."

Kara smiled, jogging off in the direction of the hanger, grinning back up Lena, waving as she disappeared inside.

The fight was rough, they lost a few pilots and everyone else got hurt. They jumped back to the base after winning, barely. It was only seven hours in Kara's time but it was almost four days for the guys back in the base.

She was carted off to the med bay as soon as she landed, to get the cuts covering her face and neck looked at.

"Someone needs to fix my ship window," she called back as Alex wheeled her away.

BB-8 beeped a threat too, rolling beside Kara.

Alex was cleaning her wounds when Sam escorted Lena in, the girl looking at Kara with worried eyes.

"It's not as bad as it looks."

"Are you okay?" Lena asked, unsure of what to do with herself.

"I made it back," Kara hummed, glaring at Alex when she just glared over at Lena. "A few didn't."

Alex finished cleaning the last of her wounds, telling her she was going to get her stitching kit.

"How did it go?" Lena asked, coming to stand beside Kara's bed, eyeing the girls wounds worriedly.

Kara nodded slowly. "Did you feed the Bharlls?"

"I did," Lena nodded. "You were right, admiral Prince gave me a job with the animals."

"How did you do with the perpines? They are very temperamental."

"They were very well behaved." Lena assured, smiling down at her her hands, but the smile faded after a few seconds and she looking up at Kara, picking at her fingernails. "How are you really, Kara? You were gonna for days."

"It was only seven hours in my time," Kara said, gnawing on her bottom lip. "It was hard, harder than any fight before. It's hard, you know? Being in charge of all these people, of all these lives and having to make calls based on what will get the least amount of people killed."

"I can't imagine how much pressure that must be." Lena said softly, placing her hand over Kara's.

Kara's eyes snapped to their hands. "The worst thing is they are all just so willing to die for the cause."

"It is a good cause to die for, you are trying to take back the freedom across the galaxies."

"It's just hard getting in that ship not knowing how many I'm coming back with."

"Okay," Alex announced and Lena quickly pulled her hand away, staring down at the floor as Alex eyed the duo. "I'm going to get you stitched up."

Alex stitched her up, and disappeared to deal with other injured fighters.

"Can I walk you back to your room?" Lena asked.

"I was actually thinking of going to the porg pen," Kara said, moving her legs off the bed, her feet planting on the floor, groaning at the pain in her side.

BB-8 beeped up at her.

"I can walk, buddy." Kara assured, her hand clutching at her ribs as she straightened, wincing in pain. "How are you holding up?"

BB-8 beeped quietly.

"It is crooked," Kara crouched beside the droid, fixing his antenna. "There you are, good as new."

BB-8 beeped gratefully, rolling into Kara, prompting her to press her forehead against the top of his head. "You did good today," Kara whispered.

When she looked up Lena was smiling softly at then, and Kara felt a little flutter in her chest that she didn't even want to address right now.

"You can come along, too, if you'd like?" Kara offered and BB-8 beeped. "We would like for you to come along."

"I would like that, yes."

When they reached the porg pen BB-8 powered down as Lena and Kara reclined back on the grass, their shoulders touched as they stared up at the star lit sky, the porgs jumping to get comfortable around them.

"I was like you," Kara whispered. "I was found on a planet, my parents dead, I had no one, so the Danvers took me in, apparently BB-8 was already with me when I was stranded. I was in an X-wing before I had even hit puberty, fighting for a fleet by the time I was sixteen, commander by twenty."

Lena listened attentively, her eyes not leaving the sky as she scratched the back of the porg on her stomach.

"I thought I could desensitise myself too it, just not feel it whenever I lost a pilot. But I can't, I feel every damn death, the guilt. It has just been chipping away and it's exhausting." Kara sighed. "I have my sister, and BB, but I just feel like I can't talk about it."

"Why?" Lena whispered.

"Because Alex lost her parents to this war, and BB-8 will just worry." Kara breathed. "I just wish it was over. What are we even fighting for? This war has been going on for decades. Will it even end in my life time, and if it does, how long will it be before it starts again."

"You can't know any of that for sure, but what you can be sure of is that none of those deaths are you fault, these people know what they're getting themselves into when they get in those ships." Lena said. "I know it doesn't help, but I think you're an incredible commander, and an even better person. You have the compassion and heart that makes a good leader."

Kara turned her head to Lena, to see the woman already looking at her.

"You are an important part of all this, Kara. And I know it's tough but we need people like you in war, we need people to make tough decisions with their heart and not their head." Lena spoke softly. "You're heart is something I really admire about you, Kara. From the beginning, the one thing I knew about you was that you have a huge heart, that's not a weakness, no matter how many people tell you otherwise."

Kara swallowed, a soft smile appearing on her lips. "Thank you,"

Lena nodded, licking her lips. "I left because of the abuse."

Kara looked a little shocked but nodded.

"Both mental and physical." Lena swallowed. "I-uh- I killed people, I can never forgive myself for that, but it isn't who I want to be anymore."

Kara watched her carefully.

"It was either them or me, but that's no excuse. I knew that I would be killed if I refused but I was naive enough to think that I could dismantle the Order from the inside." Lena's voice was shaky, like she could break at any moment. She was clutching the porg on her chest, like that was the only thing keeping her grounded. "That helped me sleep for a while, but I realised it was futile, that thing is like a Hydra, cut of one head two more grown. So I just ran."

"Killing People is inexcusable, on both sides. It's something we all have to live with for the rest of our lives, but if this burden can make like easier for my children, I'm willing to bare it." Kara sighed. "What you were a part of, it was a dictatorship, but you tried to rise up against it. You tired to fight back, but you can't derail a machine as huge as that by removing a few small cogs. It helps, it weakens them, but like you said, there's always someone there to take their place."

"You- you would just forgive me, for everything I did."

"It's not me you should be asking forgiveness of." Kara said. "It's yourself."

"Can you ever? Forgive yourself, I mean,"

Kara swallowed, turning her eyes back to the stars. "I'll let you know."

Lena sighed, mirroring Kara's position. "Fuck war,"

Kara, strangely, found herself laughing at that, nodding her head. "Fuck war," she agreed in a soft voice.

They fell asleep like that, Kara only waking up when Diana found them, gently shaking her awake, her eyes bouncing between her and Lena. "I need her on the bridge," she whispered.

Kara nodded, standing and shucking off her jacket, draping it over Lena's sleeping frame. "Look after her, BB."

BB-8 beeped quietly at her.

"I will tell you everything when I get back."

BB-8 conceded, rolling to sit beside Lena.

"Is everything okay?" Kara asked as that left the pen.

"We can talk on the bridge," Diana said, and something about her smile relaxed Kara a little. "You and the trooper girl seem to have hit it off."

"No one else has really accepted her yet," Kara shrugged. "Thank you, for giving her a job with the animals. She's really good with them."

"You trusted her enough with your precious creatures to recommend her."

When they entered the bridge Kara instantly felt defensive and a little attacked when she saw Alex, Sam, James and Barry standing there.

"What is this?"

"We've been talking," Alex started.

"Oh, have we?" Kara glanced up at Diana. "Without me?"

"We think you need a break." Barry said.

"Well, with all due respect, I think you're wrong." Kara defended.

"You went all kamikaze pilot out there, you've become desensitised to all this." Alex said, and Kara couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips.

"You think I fought like that because I'm desensitised." Kara snapped. "No, it's the opposite, actually. I went out there and gave everything I had because I'm tired of losing pilots. I'm tired of all of those deaths falling onto me!"

"Kara," Alex started carefully.

"No, you guys have no idea what it's like to make a call and watch it be the wrong one, because that doesn't just results in a broken ship or a little scratch, people die if I mess up." Kara jabbed her finger at herself, glaring over at James, Sam, Alex and Barry. "You guys have no right to accuse me of being desensitised when every death hurts more each time."

"I understand," Diana said, placing a hand on Kara's shoulder, addressing Alex, James, Sam and Barry. "Leave us."

They looked unsure but followed Diana's orders.

"Sit, little one."

Kara crossed her arms like a petulant child. Diana ignored her, leaning back against her desk.

"What you're feeling, it's hard, I understand that."

Kara's facade melted at the soft look in Diana's eyes. "I don't think I'm cut out for this, Diana. James should be commander, or Barry."

"James and Barry are fine pilots but you, little Danvers, you are a fantastic commander." Diana walked closer to Kara, placing a hand on her should. "You have something rare of people in situations like this. You retain your humanity during times that people loose it completely. That makes you feel it more, you don't detach yourself, but that makes you an incredible commander. I wouldn't have anyone else working under me."

"Does it get easier?"

"No," Diana answered truthfully. "But when you learn to open up about it, be it to your admiral, your droid, or someone who just so happened to crash land on your planet, you begin to deal with it better."

Kara broke completely then, allowing Diana to pull her in for a hug. Kara clutched at the front of Diana's shirt as she sobbed against her chest.

"I can't ge-get rid of this guilt." She sobbed. "My dreams are filled with explosions and fighting. I can't see them die but I know they are and I know it's my fault."

"You are an exceptional pilot and an even better leader, Kara." Diana spoke softly against the top of her head. "You have saved exponentially more lives then you have lost in command. Remember that."

"I'm exhausted," Kara admitted in a quivering voice.

"I know, I am, too." Diana rubbed Kara's back with one hand, the other finding its way into her hair. "But we are so close, Kara. Don't give up on me."

"I'm not," Kara sniffed.

"Lean on someone, Kara, there is no shame in needing someone."

"Who do you lean on?" Kara asked, pulling back to look up at Diana, who shrugged, almost bashfully, making Kara gawp. "Do you have a someone?"

"I don't think that's any of your concern, Miss Danvers." Diana said, in a faux-authoritarian tone, the little smile on her lips telling Kara that she did have someone.

"Oh, who are they?" Kara grinned giddily, the grin completely contrasting her puffy eyes.

Diana rolled her eyes, wiping away Kara's tears with her knuckles. "Sam,"

"Sam!" Kara gasped, "Sam Arias? Oh my god, you and Sam! That's so great."

"It's new, I don't have my hopes up." Diana said, the little smile on her face telling Kara otherwise.

"Ooh, you love her." Kara teased, laughing loudly when Diana threw a pen her way, easily catching it.

Diana smiled softly at Kara. "Find your someone, Kara. It doesn't have to be a significant other, a friend, a sister, just find someone."

Kara nodded, "I will."

"Good girl,"

"Thank you, Diana."

"Any time, kiddo." Diana smiled at her. "Now go wake up your friend, those porgs are about to wake up and bug her awake."

Kara laughed, nodded and turning to leave.

She didn't look at any of her friends as she left, other than Sam, flashing her a knowing smirk, which made everyone frown.

"Kara,"

Kara glanced over her should, smiling at James as he rushed to catch up with her.

"What's up, James?"

"Where are you rushing off too?" James asked.

"Lena is in the Porg pen,"

"You really should be careful with her," James said, stopping when Kara came to a halt.

"What?"

"She's the enemy, Kara."

Kara sighed, turning to James. "Have you spoken to her? At all?"

"Well, no, but-"

"So you should have no opinion."

"She's a storm trooper, Kara."

"I'm not doing this James," Kara sighed. "Just lay off of her, understand?"

Kara left before James could reply.

Lena was already awake when she when she got there, covered in porgs and trying to understand BB-8.

BB-8 beeped in relief when Kara appeared.

"It isn't her fault, bud." Kara rolled her eyes, smiling at Lena. "Are you okay?"

"This one," Lena poked the porg lightly in the tummy. "Woke me by falling on my face."

"Yeah, they do that." Kara laughed, offering Lena her hand. "Breakfast?"

"Yes please," Lena all but groaned, taking ahold of Kara's hand and pulling herself up.

A weird feeling spread across Kara's stomach at the sight of Lena in her commanders jacket, she resistance emblem looking almost at home marrying Lena's chest, 'Danvers' stitched just below the emblem. "You're wearing my jacket."

"Oh, right, yeah. It was cold and-" Lena scrambled to take it off my Kara stopped her, prompting Lena to freeze and look up at her.

"No, it looks good on you."

"Oh," Lena glanced down at herself. "Is it okay for me to wear it in front of other people?"

"It's my jacket," Kara laughed. "It is my choice who wears it?"

"But it's an commanders jacket, if you got caught wearing your commanders jackets back at the Order you would probably be killed."

"I assure you that won't happen here."

Eyes were on them as they entered the mess hall, but Kara ignored it, keeping close to Lena as they got their food and sat down.

BB-8 beeped beside her.

"They need to mind their own business, BB-8."

Kara was halfway though her breakfast when she was called to the hanger. She grabbed a piece of toast, telling Lena she would be back soon before rushing off, along side a lot of the pilots.

It was an easily won fight, and Kara was back on base within three hours.

She went to Lena's room after talking to Alex, but she wasn't there, so she headed to the pens.

She found Lena in the porg pen, looking a little overwhelmed.

"Are you okay?"

Lena's head snapped up, looking relived when her eyes landed on Kara.

"Kara, hey." Lena smiled, obviously forced. "How was the fight?"

"What's wrong?" Kara frowned, hopping into the pen, catching the two porgs that flew up at her, allowing them to clamber up her arm to her shoulder as she kneeled down in front of Lena.

"Nothing, I'm okay."

"You're a terrible liar." Kara tilted her head, a little smile on he face. "Whatever is, you can tell me."

"It's just- peace and quiet, right?" Lena laughed, but Kara could tell it wasn't a real laugh, more of a nervous laugh.

Kara frowned thoughtfully, a few ideas rolling around in her head. "The people here, right? Have they been bothering you?"

"I don't blame them, I shouldn't have decided to stay."

"No, you were within your rights to stay," Kara quickly stood, turning to leave but before she could Lena took a gentle hold of her wrist.

"Where are you going?"

"To talk to my pilots."

"Okay, one;" Lena gently took ahold of the porgs on Kara's shoulder, setting them down on the floor. "And two; you don't have to do that, they have a right to feel this way."

"Maybe, but they have no right to make you feel uncomfortable."

"Kara," Lena tried to argue but Kara had already hopped over the pen gate, Lena scrambling to keep up.

"Okay, listen up." Kara bellowed when she entered the hanger, and everyone immediately gave her their full attention. "Lena will be staying here," Kara's voice carried powerfully through the hanger. "If any of you have an issue with that then come and talk to me, is that clear?"

There was a murmur of 'yes, commander'.

Kara smiled sharply. "I'm glad, now get back to work."

"Kara," James frowned.

"No," Kara cut him off, pointing over at the man. "You need to stop with this. I tried to talk to you as a friend about this but now I'm _telling you,_ as your commander, back. Off."

They stared at each other for a few seconds, turning his eyes to Lena briefly, nodding once. "Yes, _commander."_

"Good, now get back to work."

James' back was ridged as he turned and headed back to his ship.

"Come on, the porgs need to be fed."

"Kara," Lena scrambled to catch up with her as she marched out of the hanger. "Kara, wait."

Lena took ahold of Kara's wrist and gently pulled her round to look at her. "You didn't have to do that,"

"I didn't do it just for you," Kara said. "They need to learn that if we loose our humanity we become as bad as them."

"Still, thank you."

"Of course," Kara nodded, a little smile on her lips. "Feed the porgs then ourselves?"

They ended up eating on the wall of the Bharrl pen, Kara throwing food to them every so often.

"Do you remember your parents?" Lena asked, her legs swinging lightly as she watched the creatures play below her.

"I do," Kara shook her head, "They sent me away, the planet was crumbling, dying, they threw me in a pod at three years old and just set me on my way."

Lena turn to look at Kara, her head tilted curiously.

"I was just out of range when the planet imploded, everyone I loved dead. I landed on Cakam, Diana found me a few years later, stealing and pickpocketing from the rich for some junker. She took me away and brought me here, I lived with the Danvers, then Alex when they were killed." Kara explained, throwing the remainder of her food to the Bharrl's and brushing her hands off. "Without Diana and the Danvers' I would be some junk yard kid, probably dead by now. I remember my parents, but only their faces as they sent me away, and even I'm not sure that's real. I don't remember their voice, or their smell, or how it felt too hug them. Sometimes I think I remember, but then I realise it was just a dream I had."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." Lena apologised, seemingly noticing the sad look in Kara's eyes.

"No, I don't mind. I just- I haven't had the chance to talk about it, you know? Alex listens, and so does Diana, and they _try,_ I know they do. They try to understand but they just can't, not really." Kara explained, turning to Lena, her sad eyes turning soft. "But you, you understand on some level."

"Yeah,"

"What about you? Do you remember your parents?" Kara asked.

"No, my parents were dead by the time I was an infant, I grew up in an orphanage on Gekkiee, one that reared fighters for the First Order, you either become a trooper or you are… terminated." Lena said, glancing up at Kara. "I was good enough to become a trooper. I almost wish I wasn't."

"You would have been killed," Kara frowned.

"That would have been better than the life I had with the First Order."

"You didn't give up," Kara pointed out. "Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your life was horrible, I can't even imagine what it would be like, but you could have given up. You didn't, why?" Kara questioned, her voice sounding a little too much like her commander voice for her liking.

Lena sighed. "When I was first recruited to the First Order I watched then torture and kill this innocent merchant because they thought he know something about an old, extinct religion. He didn't but his screams, that's something I will never forget. He was begging them to stop, kept repeating that he had a family, two daughters and a baby boy. They needed him, their mother couldn't provide, she was almost killed by bandits, physically couldn't work. You know what they said to him?" Lena glanced up at Kara, tears in her eyes. "They said they would take care of it, they wouldn't have to worry about eating because they'd be dead if he didn't talk. He tried to think of anything that would save his family but he didn't _know_ anything."

Karan had no idea what to say to that, instead she just placed her hand over Lena's that was braced on the wall, prompting Lena to look up at her, her greens eyes wet.

"I didn't stop fighting because if I could stop that from happening to even one person, it was worth it."

"Did you?"

"A few, I helped them escape." Lena admitted.

"Why did you leave? If you were helping."

"I couldn't do it anymore, they were on to me, I think. And I was exhausted."

"I get that." Kara nodded. "What you did, it was incredible. Risking your life to save other people, that is the purest form of humanity and empathy."

Lena sighed. "They think they're doing the right thing, fighting to bring back order to the galaxy. But there is a difference between order and a dictatorship, they want to control everyone, destroy anyone who disobeys. That's not how you run an empire."

"I think both sides of any war think they're right." Kara reasoned. "Otherwise they wouldn't be fighting for what they're fighting for."

"I suppose," Lena sniffed, lifting her eyes to Kara.

"You're brave," Kara smiled softly, adoration shining in her eyes as she stared at Lena. "You helped people, you stayed here, while everyone gave you a hard time. You're _brave_ , Lena. The level of brave I want to be."

"You're the first line of defence in this war, Kara. You fly out there and help win this war."

"That's not brave," Kara scoffed. "Flying is all I know, the one thing I'm good at."

"Maybe. But you still go out there an command of fleet of men and help protect people. You're brave, too, Kara."

"Maybe." Kara hummed.

They headed back to their rooms after a few more hours, Kara saying a quick goodbye, ignored the feeling in her stomach at the almost bashful smile Lena had on her lips.

Barry was waiting for her when she entered the room, looking hopeful and almost apologetic.

"Hey," he said unsurely, holding up some alien alcohol. "An apology."

"Not necessary," Kara assured. "You were all trying to help."

"It just wasn't the help you needed," Barry commented.

"No," Kara took a seat on the bed beside Barry, snagging the bottle from Barry. "But this is."

Barry smiled, positioning himself against the wall. "Let's get drunk then."

So they did, after an hour and most of the bottle they were lying back on Kara's bed, cheeks warm and eyes glazed.

"You've been spending a lot of time with that girl," Barry pointed out, looking up at Kara through his eyelashes.

"Yeah, she's nice." Kara smiled softy at the mention of Lena.

That made Barry frown, pushing himself up onto his elbows. "Do you like her?"

"What?" Kara frowned. "Of course I like her, we're friends."

"No, you know what I mean." Barry corrected, sitting up against the wall. "Do you like her? Like, like like her."

Kara hooked her arm under her head, staring at the boy. "We're friends."

"That doesn't answer my question." Barry said.

Kara sighed and shrugged. "I don't know. I'm wary, of course I am, she came from the Order, but she nice, Barry. She helped protect people when she was there. I don't know, Barry."

Barry nodded slowly. "I trust your judgment, Kara, if you say she's good I believe that."

"But?" Kara sighed, waiting for the inevitable lecture that everyone else had given her.

"No buts," Barry shrugged. "Since we were kids we've had each other's backs. Ride or die, Danvers."

Kara smiled, knocking the length of her arm with Barry's when he held it out to her.

"Ride or die, Allen."

Barry was grinning crookedly. "So, have you kissed her?"

"No, I haven't- I'm not even sure she likes me like that, and she's been through a lot, I would feel like I was taking advantage." Kara shrugged. "She needs a friend."

"So be that friend until she settles in then just slide right into-"

"Barry," Kara huffed, a little laugh escaping her lips as she hit Barry with her pillow.

"I'm just saying, give it time."

They passed out not long after the bottle was finished, waking up in a tangle of limbs, both with dry mouths and pounding headaches.

"I need food," Barry grumbled as they clambered out of bed, only one eye open and his hair sticking up in all different directions.

"Good idea," Kara agreed, making to grab her jacket before remembered Lena had it. She pulled on her crew neck academy jumper and headed out.

Lena left her room just as they left Kara's, eyeing the duo.

"Oh, hey, Lena." Kara said gruffly, offering Lena the best smile she could.

"See you there, Kara." Barry clapped a hand on her shoulder.

"He's cute, boyfriend?" Lena asked.

"Oh, god, no. Gross."

"Thank you, Kara." Barry threw over his shoulder, flipping her off without even glancing back.

Kara laughed quietly. "No, best friend."

"Ah, okay."

"He has a girl, Iris West." Kara explained. "She's runs coms."

Lena nodded, eyeing Kara carefully. "Are you hung over?"

Kara smiled crookedly, pulling at the neck of her jumper. "What gave me away?"

"The fact you can't open both eyes, and even the eye that is open is almost closed completely. The messy hair," Lena smiled, tucking Kara's hair behind her ear, which caused Kara's cheeks to heat up. "Your voice."

"What wrong with my voice?" Kara asked, cursing herself when her voice broke completely.

"That," Lena looked almost smug as she pointed at Kara.

"Okay, I'll give you that one." Kara rolled her eyes, motioning in the direction Barry had just left. "Breakfast?"

"Sure," Lena agreed, turning to walk in the direction of the mess hall. "Wheres BB-8?"

"He's working on my ship, I think. My ship wasn't fixed in time yesterday so I had to use a spare and it didn't have a spot for him. He was no best pleased, threw a hissy fit with Alex, I could hear it all over coms." Kara laughed at the memory of it.

"He came to find me yesterday, but I couldn't understand him so he rolled away in a mood."

Kara rolled her eyes, a little smile on her lips. "He's a drama queen."

Barry was at a table when they got there, his head in his hands and an empty bottle of water beside him.

"You okay, buddy?" Kara clapped the boy on the back as she took a seat with her food, causing him to jump.

"Is this what dying feels like?" Barry grumbled, glancing up at Lena, offering her a little smile, which seemed to relax the girl. "Barry Allen, Kara's definitely not boyfriend, because gross, right?"

Kara rolled her eye. "You're like my brother, Barry."

Barry ignored her, his eyes on Lena. "Were you a pilot before you came here? We could put you to good use."

"I was, yeah, but I wasn't even close to the skill of your guys."

"You should see about becoming a pilot." Barry suggested.

"Maybe, eventually." Lena nodded.

Lena headed off to the animals after breakfast, and Kara headed to the hanger with Barry, who just kept grinning at her.

"What, Barry?"

"You were giving her gooy eyes."

"Oh, shut up." She huffed, shoving the boy.


End file.
